Why Attractive
Women Love Jerks
I get a lot of emails from guys who read my newsletter that say
things like... "I'm sure what you're saying is right, but I don't
want to be a jerk or an a**hole to women..."
"I have seen what you're talking about happen all my life, but I'm
a 'nice guy' and I want women to like me for me..."
...and...
"This doesn't make sense..."
I'd like to address these ideas.
Up until about 5 years ago, I was THE nice guy of nice guys. As a
matter of fact, when I first made the decision to learn how to be
successful with women, this actually created an obstacle for me.
Let me explain...
Because I believed that "being a nice guy" MUST be the way to
success with women, I ACTUALLY COULDN'T EVEN PERCEIVE ANY OTHER
WAY.
In other words, I could see a situation where a woman was
attracted to a mean, abusive guy and think to myself that either
she must be screwed up in the head, or THAT THE GUY MUST BE REALLY
NICE TO HER THE REST OF THE TIME.
As you probably know, it's hard to convince a person to believe
something when they already have a belief about the topic. The
person that you're trying to convince just uses whatever you say
to convince themselves that they're actually right... and you're
wrong.
Well, I did the exact same thing.
No matter how much evidence I found to the contrary, I still
somehow believed that being a "nice" guy, buying women flowers and
gifts, taking them out, and generally letting them be in control
of the relationship HAD to be the way to attract them.
Well, after continuing along the same path and getting the same
results, I realized something that literally changed EVERYTHING
for me. I realized that JERKS do, in fact, attract hot women.
Selfish behavior, as unhealthy as this might sound, often makes
women feel attracted to you. Sarcasm, ball busting, playing hard
to get, and all kinds of other "illogical" things really do work
when it comes to attracting women.
But then I had a dilemma...
I love the idea of being successful with women, but I HATE the
idea of mistreating people, being mean to them, lying and
misleading, etc. Deep down, I want to be a good guy. I decided
that there MUST be a way to make this work, and to attract women
without being ABUSIVE.
The good news is that THERE IS a way.
But it requires that you put aside your current ideas for just
long enough to entertain some new ones.
First, let me say that I believe I've found a way to take the
things that JERKS do to attract women and use them WITHOUT THE
ABUSE. When you learn to do this, you can really have the best of
both worlds... you can be nice to women on your own terms, and
give them what they REALLY want, and what REALLY attracts them.
So WHY DO WOMEN BECOME ATTRACTED TO JERKS?
The short answer is that they don't CHOOSE it, it's something that
just HAPPENS.
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.
It's an emotional response to certain things. Women don't CHOOSE
to feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for jerks any more than YOU
choose to feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for young, beautiful,
hardbodied women.
Nature has pre-programmed MEN with a mechanism that works like
this:
SEE HOT WOMEN ---> FEEL ATTRACTION
Well, women have a similar mechanism. But I think that the female
version is MORE COMPLEX. Yes, women do feel attraction for
extremely handsome men... but they feel a MUCH STRONGER ATTRACTION
for certain PERSONALITY TRAITS and BEHAVIORS than they do for
physical looks alone. So again, the short answer is that it's just
something
that "happens" inside of a women. She doesn't "choose" it.
So what is it about the "jerk" that creates this powerful,
uncontrollable ATTRACTION inside of women?
Let me answer first by telling you what IT'S NOT:
It's NOT the abuse (not usually anyway). I don't believe that
women are attracted to that abusive, mean, negative part of the
"jerk personality".
I think that jerks JUST HAPPEN to also possess several ATTRACTIVE
qualities that are SO POWERFUL that that they literally make women
BLIND to the abuse... women will rationalize and excuse the
abusive behavior because they are so attracted to these other
qualities.
Here's a PARTIAL list of what creates that ATTRACTION:
-Unpredictability
-Uncontrollable
-Challenge
-Dominance
Of course, there are many more, but this will get us started for
this discussion. The qualities I've listed above, when presented
correctly, trigger the natural "attraction mechanism" inside of
women. Jerks have taken natural qualities that are ATTRACTIVE to
women a little "too far". But because they're still there, the
qualities trigger the attraction anyway.
So what does this mean to you? Well, the most important thing is
that it means you can still be a good guy and attract women at the
same time. You're probably going to have to learn how to flirt in
a different way, become a little more comfortable being
challenging to women, etc. But in the end, you'll find that this
will get you what you want, and still allow you to treat women
well... all on your own terms.
It also means that instead of being the guy who women talk to
about their relationship problems, and how their mean jerk
boyfriend is being abusive again... you can be the guy who they're
dating and sleeping with!
Yes!
This weekend I'd like you to think about what I've said here in
this article. Think about how you can cultivate the four qualities
that I've mentioned above into your personality. See if you can be
a little less predictable. Don't let outside events or women
control you.
Be more of a challenge.
Stop being submissive... and get in touch with that side of you
that is more dominant (I said "dominant", not "domineering"). And
if you haven't had a chance to read my eBook and listen to my
Advanced CD Program, then I HIGHLY recommend that you do that as
well.
My eBook "Double Your Dating" is the foundation for everything
that I teach. In a few hours of reading time you can learn all
about my basic theories, plus get dozens of great techniques for
meeting and dating women.
And if you haven't downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double
Your Dating" yet... then what are you waiting for? You can
download it right now and be reading it within a few minutes.
Really. It's here:
www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook
