Critical
Mistakes When Approaching Women
A HUGE MISTAKE YOU'RE PROBABLY MAKING RIGHT NOW WHEN YOU APPROACH
WOMEN
Let me ask you something...
When you approach or start talking to a woman that you're
"interested" in, what is your attitude toward her? How do you
treat her? What are you THINKING ABOUT?
Do you start the interaction by trying to figure out if she's
single?
Do you assume that she probably has a boyfriend and look for hints
that she doesn't?
Do you try to pretend like you're not interested in her "in that
way" and instead try to be casual about it until you get signals
from her?
Do you even THINK about your strategy for how to talk to woman at
all?
MOST GUYS ARE UNAWARE OF WHAT THEY'RE DOING
Most of us guys are running around doing things that we're not
even AWARE OF. Or if we are aware of what we're DOING, we're NOT
aware of what OTHER people (particularly women) think of our
behaviors.
Also, most of us guys allow other to control MOST or even All of
how we act. Now, we won't ADMIT that we try to do or say whatever
we think will please a woman, and we won't ADMIT that we're even
mentally anticipating what she's going to think and acting on
it... but it's happening.
And it's happening ALL THE TIME.
In fact, if most of us could just get a realistic look at how much
we're trying to read women's minds and act in a way that pleases
women, we'd BITCH-SLAP ourselves silly and we'd mentally yell to
ourselves "HEY, WAKE UP!".
Think about the following scenario:
You're out at a bar, and you start talking to an attractive young
woman while trying to order a drink. And let's even say that she
starts the conversation by commenting on how busy it is and how
many people are in line for a drink.
You're thinking to yourself "I wonder if she has a boyfriend... I
wonder if she's here with someone... I wonder how old she is and
if she'd like a guy my age... I wonder if I should buy her a drink
so she'll feel obligated to talk to me and I can keep her
attention... I wonder if I should just wait and talk to her
later..."
Then, you remember that you've been reading my newsletters and my
eBook... and learning from my Advanced Dating Techniques Series...
and you decide to use some of your new techniques.
So you say "Hey, do me a favor. I'll let you go in front of me if
you order my drink for me. All the bar tenders are guys, and
they'll give you more attention than they'll give me, OK? I don't
usually use women just for their bodies this early on in the
relationship, but in this case I'm going to make an exception".
She laughs. You think you're on a roll. You then say "But I'm not
going to let you pay for it, OK? I don't want you thinking that
I'm easy and that I'll give you my number or come home with you
just because you paid for my drink". At this point, she turns
around and gives you the "You're a loser" look, and walks away.
Now let's think for a moment about what could be going on here...
-She might be married.
-She might be in a bad mood.
-She might be a lesbian (not all that bad, actually).
-She might be offended.
-She might be emotionally unstable.
-She might have mis-heard what you said.
-She might have gotten nervous.
-She might have thought you were ugly.
...or the possibility exists that the technique you used might
have been horrible.
But what do MOST guys typically do in a situation like this one?
Most guys typically let their emotions take over, and they think
"Well that stuff doesn't work", and they STOP even trying Cocky &
Funny humor.
WHAT A MISTAKE THIS IS!
A lot of guys will even try something and have it WORK for them,
then have it NOT WORK just ONCE and quit using it because they
stop believing in it. This is a HORRIBLE mistake. Let me try to
say this all a different way...
Out of a random sample of 100 beautiful women, you'd probably find
that only 20 of them (or so) are:
-Single
-Emotionally Stable
-Able to carry on an interesting conversation
-Not stuck up
-Not psycho
This is just an estimate from my own personal experience, but I
think you get the point.
Now, here's the important part of this concept...
Let's say that you started talking to all of these 100 women, one
after the other, and you had to use the same basic attitude and
opening with each of them.
What would you do?
If you treated all of them like they were probably NOT single,
interesting, stable, etc. (which is the case), then you'd probably
scare off the single ones who were your targets, because they'd
think you were acting strange.
For instance, let's say you started a conversation with a very
attractive woman in her mid twenties, who was open-minded, funny,
and wasn't concerned with how old the men she dated were (there
are a lot of women out there like this... I know this for a fact).
But let's say that you were "playing it cool", not saying anything
that might offend or appear "too forward", and generally treating
her like she was probably married or had a boyfriend. You'd
probably be trying to figure out if she was single, not really
paying attention to what you were saying, and you might finish up
by saying "So, can I take you out to dinner sometime?"
And what is this hot, smart, desirable woman thinking while you're
acting like a dork? Right... she's thinking that you're a dork.
Duh.
Now, let's take the flip side.
Stay with me here.
Let's say that you treated ALL of the 100 attractive women like
they were AVAILABLE, smart, interesting, etc.
What would happen?
Well, you'd probably start flirting with them all right from the
beginning, or you'd communicate very quickly that you weren't just
another friendly guy who wanted to talk about the weather. And
what would happen?
Well, as you can imagine, a lot of the women who were either
unavailable or unable to have a normal conversation would "reject"
you. They just wouldn't be interested. Their minds would be closed
to the possibility of continuing the relationship with you, and
they would end the conversation with you in one way or another.
Now, let's go TOTALLY out into space, and imagine that you were a
LAB RAT, and that you had a bar that you could press. And let's
say that 80% of the time when you pressed it you got shocked, and
20% of the time you got a treat.
How long would you keep pressing the bar? And keep in mind that
this is a random system. You can't line up all the shocks (or all
the rejections from women, in the non-rat experiment that most men
live in day-to-day). You might get 7 shocks in a row at first. Or
you might get 1 treat, then 5 shocks.
Well, for most men, the THOUGHT of being "rejected" by a woman is
worse than a shock for a lab rat.
So what do we do? We don't even try.
And we miss the opportunities with all of those wonderful, single,
available women who are out looking for a man who has the balls to
find them. So what's the solution?
The solution is to use a little technique called behaving AS IF
she's single, available, and interesting. You must learn to
overcome your initial self-doubt and your doubts about a woman,
and behave AS IF every woman you start talking to is SINGLE and AS
IF she's going to be THE ONE, MOST INTERESTING AND WONDERFUL WOMAN
EVER.
You must do the things that will attract THAT woman, and forget
about the rest. And you must learn to NOT take the things that
happen in between meeting the wonderful ones PERSONALLY.
Gary Halbert, one of the top marketing geniuses in the world,
talks about this principle. He basically says that out of 100
people reading your ad or seeing your commercial, maybe ONE of
them is someone who would buy your product anyway.
SO QUIT TALKING TO ALL OF THE 100 PEOPLE, AND ONLY TALK TO THE
ONE!
In his words: "Don't worry about the DOGS, concentrate on selling
the FOXES". I like the metaphor.
Talk to the women you meet AS IF they're single, open,
interesting, and wonderful. And don't worry about the ones that
don't turn out to actually BE single, open, interesting,
available, and wonderful! Use the things you're learning from me,
and KEEP USING THEM... even if they don't work sometimes. There
are all kinds of reasons why women aren't interested...
or stop being interested... or whatever.
That doesn't mean that you should stop doing what works!
...which leads me to my next point.
When you first start talking to a woman, your BELIEFS about women
and dating are CRITICAL.
If you don't know how to use your BODY LANGUAGE and other
communication to INSTANTLY show her that you're a sexually aware,
confident man, then you'll probably be overlooked and mentally
discounted within SECONDS.
Of course, in order to PROJECT the correct beliefs that are
attractive to women, you must KNOW WHAT THEY ARE, and UNDERSTAND
THEM. In other words, you can't just "fake" them. You actually
have to have a DEEP understanding of how women think, and what
makes them feel a POWERFUL, gut-level emotional ATTRACTION for a
man. It's taken me YEARS to figure out this critical point.
I used to try all kinds of techniques to meet women.
But when it came down to it, no matter how well the techniques
worked, the women always seemed to slip away at one point or
another, and lose their interest quickly.
This was because I didn't GET IT. So one of the things that I try
to teach guys is how to GET IT, and how to show women that they
GET IT. But "getting it" isn't as easy as it sounds.
You
can't learn to be a Black Belt in a martial art by learning a few
techniques. It takes a DEEPER, more profound understanding. And
you can't learn how to be super-successful with women by learning
a few pick up lines.
It just won't happen that way!
After spending literally YEARS making mistakes, trying different
things, and putting the pieces together, I've created a systematic
way for men to learn ALL of the various aspects of how to be
successful with women and dating.
And I've created a few specific educational tools so you can learn
this skill... right from the comfort of your own home. You'll
review this material SEVERAL times before you'll stop learning
from it... and in fact, you'll probably keep reviewing the
material FOREVER.
And if you haven't downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double
Your Dating" yet... then what are you waiting for? You can
download it right now and be reading it within a few minutes.
Really. It's here:
www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook
And you will be Successfully Dating!
